I’m still thinking about this ego thing from my last post. If I have to put mine down to be a better parent, then let’s keep going. Kids, yours aren’t welcome here either.
Yeah, your smart. Yeah your cute. And yes, you have friends. Uh huh, I know you can swim. Yes, I saw you do that cartwheel. Yes, I watched the whole time. Fine, do it again. Ok… WOW! Great Job.
But , what I really want to tell them after a “look at me” is … You are not your mind, your beauty, or your brain. You are not your grade. You are not the amount of friends you have. You are not what college you get into, or what your profession says you are.
Honey, those things are called your ego. Have Fun! But you should always be able to walk away from a cartwheel. (Or a house or a job, but that’s for when you get older).
I’m thinking if I really said this, my kids would ask me who invited Debbie Downer to this play date. So I smile, and clap like the nutty professor, instead.
But, it’s what I’m thinking.
I believe there’s a fine line between our ego and our souls. We are not parents, leaders, teachers, or business people. Those are things we DO. We do many things, but it’s not who we ARE.
I remember sitting in a Committee meeting a couple years ago for a non profit event. We started the meeting by going around the room and introducing ourselves, followed by where we were from.
I started. Hi everyone. I’m Alysia McKean, and I’m from Lakewood.
Next person. I’m ________ – and I’m from Jones Day.
Next person. I’m so and so – and I’m from Sherwin Williams.
Followed by. I’m this person – and I’m from KeyBank.
In my head I’m thinking “damn it! wrong identity!”
I SO wanted to shout out some professional information about myself, but the moment had passed. My ego was just going to have to settle with being the chic from Lakewood.
Although that meeting started off with a little bit of embarrassment, it really left an impression on me. I don’t want our kids to feel like they have to shout out their talents or their one day profession, like I felt the need to that day.
This is how the “am I good enough” cycle really gets rolling, doesn’t it?! Lord knows, we’ve all been on that ride.
I really want them to work hard, have fun, and feel good. But I really hope they don’t sit in a meeting one day and wonder which introduction will make them appear the most relevant.
Instead, maybe take it from Aibileen Clark from The Help ~
You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.