It's been one year since I decided to put up an "online journal". I vividly remember shaking as I hit "post" for my first entry last August. There was no taking back the fact that I just shared my own private thoughts with those who know me well, and those who have never met me. All I knew was if anyone chose to read this, I needed to be ok with everyones opinions. After all, that was the point. No fear over what I cannot control.
AND 1 year later, It's SO working!! I was approached with compliments, love, sarcasm, and criticism. Sometimes, I would be picking my kids up from school, and a parent I barely knew would approach me and want to talk about my family vacation from hell, or how our dog is doing. I would think, well this is creepy. And then I would think, YES! I'm such a terrible small talker, this is my ticket to cutting the crap and just talking! We're all the same… let's just get right to it, right?! This is money!
Through practicing the act of sharing my thoughts, fears, and excitement with anyone interested, I was reminded how to set ego aside.
Your opinion is none of my business. How fun is that?!?!
A nice therapist might say, "Good for you, Alysia. You did a brave thing by facing your fears over the last 12 months." But I say,
Good for you, Alysia. You reminded yourself that you're a grown ass woman who is capable of taking on choices, making tough decisions, and facing fears. Bitch, you got this!"
Outside of this journal, I made a few personal decisions to take on choices that didn't involve what others might think. I was also able to forgive myself for being too hard on myself in certain facets of life. And I built confidence by doing so.
I learned, the act of making one brave decision, always led to the next, and to the next. And great news… I'm still going!
I believe it's the path to our spiritual freedom, and I feel great.
In the meantime, I will still occasionally dabble in the art of writing about crap. And whatever it is that makes you want to vomit, like this did for me… do it!
This blog has done more than I ever intended. Thanks, Jessie for making me do it. 😘
Stay tuned for my next installment of why I learned wine is bad, and why all chairs should come with backs on them. 😜
Be well. Xoxo